New clothes

Tuesday August 3rd, 2010

My sister came and picked me up to get doggy supplies, visit my kitties and to get non-restricting clothes. We stopped @ the Salvation Army and I was able to find around 10 dresses for about $22.00 total. She was able to find a few tops herself. It's a risk to buy them without trying them on but after washing them, they all pretty much fit. Such a variety and we found some with cute designs. I'm kind of grateful that this is all happening during the summer, I'd hate to try & find clothes for our colder months. I'll have to deal with that when the time comes.

Our other sister had a lawn service come by and they really worked on my yard, they were wonderful. My neighbor told me that now the rats from the alley have nowhere to hide. If you live in Chicago, with alleys, there's a big chance that you've seen these critters dance up and down your alley too. I've called 311, so have my neighbors, but it won't do any good if all the neighbors won't participate and not overfill their garbage cans or pick up after themselves. I might have written before how I'd clean the lawns and the street in front of my home and my neighbors, and noticed how our lawns are alcoholics or drink iced tea. Why leave bottles & trash on other people's property? What about respecting your neighbor and the environment? We work hard to maintain our homes, trying to keep the area looking nice.

It was an emotional reunion with my 3 cats, yes I cried. They MEOWED my ears off but once I got them all together on the bed, the purring started. I can fall asleep to that lulling sound, and I did. We did wash the clothes we had purchased and a few of my pillows to take with. Maybe I'll be able to sleep better with some things familiar to me when I'm in a place not my own. Maybe it'll cut down on the chemo crankiness and cabin fever that crept in the other nights when I couldn't sleep well. ROAR! It's a lot going on, maybe we all need a support group to see how other families deal with cancer. My family has been great and as my strength comes back they're my inspiration to get up and move, get that blood circulating. Simple things as taking my dogs out since they reinforced the fence so no little dogs sneaks out again, which means less mess inside to clean up and everyone is happy. The dogs are happy too because they get rewarded with a treat and I get rewarded by getting fresh air and see my dad's beautiful garden.

Looking around my place I confided in my sister a few things that I want to go to certain people if and when my time comes. You look around and you see your life, what made you who you are, everything has meaning otherwise it wouldn't be there. You see the things that people gave you and then I remember, you can't take it with you. I had bought certain items for people already for their birthdays, I've always done that even though their birthday is more than 11 months away. Sometimes I can't find it when the time comes then it resurfaces afterwards. Figures. I told her that I want to package them with their names on it so if I'm not around to give it to them maybe she can and they'll know I'm always thinking of them. I know my Godchildren, some are too young to understand what's going on, but I have certain things for them that I hope they can remember me by.

I'm sorry if I'm sounding gloomy, I'm not all negative. I do have goals still but I just don't want my family to deal with EVERYTHING that come with dying. That alone is a big-assed burden. Please excuse my French. Maybe I should say, "Just in case the inevitable happens". I know I've touched many lives, you kind of want to leave your legacy. I know I'm not a rockstar, or maybe I could be. :o) My friend Ray had asked me something to that affect or is it effect? I told him that I am a simple person that's easily satisfied, especially with food. I've never really been materialistic, shoot I wear a $5.00 ring that I got in Mexico, it's risque and unique, plus we got a free shot of tequila with the purchase. What more could one ask for. I guess that's because when we were young, I lost my mom's ring that her mom gave her when she graduated from nursing school. I told my mom that it was too big for me. I had a squabble with a brother and it flew off my hand. I think my sister found it but it's misplaced somewhere. I never wanted to lose something precious again. I've been blessed with a great family and friends and coworkers who turned out to be both. I've stood up in several friend's and relative's weddings and I had that idea of whoever's wedding I stood up in had to wear that dress that they made me wear if & when I got married, before that movie came out with K. Heigl. I had been there for the births of 2 of my Godchildren. I've been lucky to travel to the German speaking countries, Mexico, Spain, the Philippines and around the U.S. I am grateful that I have experienced passion and love in my life. A beautiful sunset, a touching book, music, again tasty food, a beautiful flower or painting, a good play or movie make me happy. I grew up with nine siblings, at one point with 13 cats and 3 dogs, I've worn hand-me-downs and fought for bathroom time, with no privacy and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've touched many lives with the years I've been a nurse and the patients have touched mine. I've sang and danced, neither very well, but I enjoyed doing it. Just think of all your years so far on this earth, who you've met, through school, work and just socializing and where life has taken you, your travels, what you've learned, what you've accomplished, what you have seen, felt and heard and it's amazing.