Muu muus

Monday August 2nd, 2010

I had another very restless night and couldn't sleep. Was it: too much good food? Constipation (but things were moving slowly but surely)? Gas? The annoying ringing in my right ear wavering in & out throughout the night? The heat? My little hot dogs (Chi's) taking up the twin bed again? One of my many trips to empty my bladder in the middle of the night? The tumor putting pressure on my insides so I can't get comfortable and breathe easier? Was I hungry? My niece couldn't sleep either, I think we were competing for dark circles under our eyes today. Her excuse might have been the coffee she had with dinner. Mine is most nights.

I had another follow up appt. today for labs and possible chemo, the smaller dose of Gemzar, if the labs were decent. My vitals were better, no fever, but my heartrate was a little fast about 114 bpm at least it wasn't in the 120's. I had just walked across the lobby to the vitals room and I had no sleep so that only added to my woosiness. This is why I quit going to amusement parks, my own head spins for one reason or another and I've also ridden the elevators @ work, sometimes they're not up to par, and had gotten scary rides for free. My weight is still holding @ 144 lbs. My hemoglobin held @ 9.8 but my platelets dropped again. They decided to hold the chemo and recheck the labs again next week. This happened before and they bounced back up. I hope they do. I just have to be careful about potential bleeding risks.

While waiting in the lobby for a room to be seen in, I discussed with my sister, Cathy, how the elastic in my dress I was wearing, felt tight and was pressing on my bloated belly. I have a very loose black "sack" type dress @ home & it feels great with no restrictions but I can't wear it every day. We discussed how our mom wore muu muus and the way I was feeling at that moment in time, I thought "I'm up for that". I had found a Mrs. Roper style dress in my back closet one day. If you can't take it with you, might as well wear it now. Is it still stylish? Doesn't Nicole Richie wear that pattern? Cathy said that I can cut the elastic in some of my dresses, I'll let her do it, my luck the dress will fall apart. No wardrobe malfunctions for me. I'm not above wearing resale clothes, if it doesn't fit after washing it, you only spent 50 cents to a dollar on the item.

We made it home and I was lucky to catch a cat nap after snagging some lunch. Marie was watching our nephew. She finally saw "Student Bodies" last night with her mom. It's a bad but funny movie with horsehead bookends and the "breather". I think it had it's 30th anniversary. There's a part about a mom who had gone out for the night and being upset that the babysitter left the house a mess. As she kept finding the different messy areas, the mom complained, "I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID THIS, AND FOR 75 CENTS AN HOUR?!?". (Nowadays if you need a babysitter, you need to provide them with health benefits.) Needless to say, the babysitter was found dead and the mom, who the deceased had babysat for, gave the grieving mom the money her deceased daughter had earned, saying "This is what I owe her, @ 65 cents an hour..." Our niece had babysat, FOR FREE, like it used to be, the way things should be. She asked, "Why do you have to pay me for watching my cousin?"

Good values are still being instilled in our young. People helping others FOR FREE, OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF THEIR HEARTS WITHOUT ASKING FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN. What happened to that? That's what I've noticed a lot in society, "you owe me, I did this for you, what do I get in return?, I can't take you 'cuz you can't pay me." That's what I love about my dad's neighborhood, it's still a neighborhood. If you need something last minute, a babysitter, eggs, they're there for each other, you can rely on and trust each other. Shovelling the neighbor's snow, cutting their grass, checking on their homes when they're away or check on them when they're sick, helping them carry in the groceries, etc., there's still good out there, not just all that bad stuff that they show on t.v.

I have another date with the Tres Leches cake before trying to sleep tonight. I hope tonight is better than the past few nights. Maybe that's the cause of my woes, ah, it's worth it. :o)