A day of rest

Wednesday August 25th, 2010

I had a rough night sleeping. I woke @ 2 am to use the bathroom and couldn't really get back to sleep. My stomach was having odd uncomfortable sensations, is it the chemo working? Then again, my Widdo was spending the night @ the vet and was feeling sick. Hairy was sleeping on their bed on the floor next to me. Ah, I put him in the bed with me. I still couldn't sleep well, even after having a small snack with an Ensure.

I did doze for a bit on & off. When I got up around 8 am I ate a little Malt-O-Meal and an Ensure. I started to organize the new latch hook project that I bought, there's 20 colors of yarn and some are quite similar, they recommend you tape one strand to the instructions so you don't confuse them while doing it. This will be a project, it's 20"x 30". I hadn't done one in over 20 years plus. Believe it or not, I'm reading the directions and even showed Marie how to do it. I think it's easier to do than the crocheting that her mom picked up again. Cathy, my sister, had been getting on me to call my classmates friend, who had kicked this cholangiocarcinoma in the butt. I told her that I'd give her a call today.

I called the vet, my dog was in line for his surgery, they informed me that they'd give me a call later when it was over. My body was aching, especially my back, arms, legs and again, my facial cheek muscles. I did fall asleep again for a few hours. Dad came home with some lunch and I didn't have much of an appetite, Ensure's been a big part of my diet. Maybe my body was too tired and sore. I laid down again to get more sleep.

I woke up around 4:30 pm, the vet called & said Widdo was a little sleepy, he's doing great and that he's ready for pick up. I was feeling wiped out but that was one of my goals today, to eat, get my dog & take a good shower. There's days after chemo where you feel so run down. By then, dad had made dinner. Afterwards, he drove me to pick up my dog. It's a good thing I threw on a house dress that I wore previously, Widdo had tinkled a little on me on the way home. While I was @ the vet, the one who took care of him is our family friend & I was given a discount, thank you. There's a lot of maintenance I have to do with him when I get home. Everyone there was very supportive of my condition. I perked up once we got him home because he was happy to see his brother & cousin and quickly ran to the backporch to baptize the puppy pad. He was more responsive and I knew he wanted to eat, he went to the food bowls after relieving his bladder. I was told to wait another hour before feeding him.

I took this time for my shower. I used the shower stool just in case. It's a good thing I did. When I was finishing, my gait was a little off, but the hot shower relieved some of my bodyaches and it just makes one feel refreshed. I guess it also stimulates blood flow. I still wonder about the amount of hair that comes out when I comb through it with my fingers and hair conditioner. To me, it's seems a lot, but I still have hair on my head.

I had the energy to feed the dogs. Oh, did Widdo eat well. I hope it wasn't too much for him and that he wouldn't be nauseated from the anesthesia. He was able to keep it down. Yeah, one less worry for me. This evening I worked more on the latch hook project, taping the edges and starting putting the yarn on the graph.

I did get a very nice phone call from Susan, my role model for surviving our cancer, she called me back. She first let me tell her of my journey, then she told me about hers. She also gave me great advice on getting to the Northbrook Wellness Center for counseling, she told me that they see the pt., family, caregivers, friends and that they're very good @ what they do. She said that she too was hesitant to talk to someone with our condition, like me, I don't know why it took me so long to call her. Maybe I was scared, but whatever, I'm glad I reached out to her. She told me to continue asking a lot of questions, to take charge of my care, she had gone to 4 hospitals to get where she is today, and that it really helps when you have a medical team that won't give up on you. I told her that I'm getting my care @ UIC, and on my last visits, how we came up with multiple plans after we discovered that the Cisplatin wasn't doing what we hoped. She shared her treatments and she told me that she had undergone surgery with the robotic knife. I told her that I'm scheduled to see those same doctors. I was told by my NP that even though they're cowboys, they'll only do it if they believe it can cure. I got off the phone feeling better and hopeful.

I continued to work on my project into the night. Again I had a difficult time sleeping, starting off that Widdo kept crying so I put him on the bed with his brother. Also the bathroom kept calling, as long as my elimination prevents me from getting my abdomen tapped again or from being constipated. Why my bowel regimen decided to switch to the middle of the night, I have no idea. Maybe it did to accomodate everyone getting ready to go to work & school in the morning hours. When I lived @ my own home, I didn't have to compete for the toilet. Also I've been getting the munchies in the middle of the night, I had a plum. I still couldn't sleep so I picked up my "Chicken Soup" book, and I got through another chapter and a half before dozing off with the light on. Sleep, yeah!