SLEEP!

Tuesday July 13th, 2010

That's all my body wanted to do today, besides eat & use the "comfort room" as Filipinos call it. I was just dragging and was laying around the house, even though my niece's friend came by, I couldn't stay awake if you paid me. Is this the tiredness I've heard so much about? I hate to waste a beautiful day but I did.
I'm lucky I made it around the inside of the house without falling out. I tried to shower earlier in the day but I didn't feel like I'd be able to stay awake or alert enough to do so. Throw in the back pain which felt like I had a hard work out with aching muscles even though I hadn't worked out. Add the rib/abdominal pain to my shortness of breath and cough and you can see why I just wanted to lie there. My pain gets better when I lie on my back. No wonder they say people have to worry about blood clots while on chemo, you just want to lay around.
I called my sister, Cathy, who was able to get me a chair for the shower. I finally was able to get myself in there around 7 pm. I tell my family that I'll be bathing and I keep the door unlocked in case they hear a "thud". The chair came in handy, so does having a showerhead that's on a hose. I'm glad I was able to bathe, it really did perk me up after that and I was awake for the next couple of hours. I wish our brother, John, were here so I can ask him how he got through his chemo days. If he got through them, so can I. He was a tough cookie and barely complained, unlike me and I have modern technology to broadcast my rants too. :o)
It's hard to believe that a bath can be such a task. Again, it's very frustrating not being able to do the simple things in life for yourself and if you do it takes a whole day to do so. Having these different pains throughout one's body can be very annoying, just when you think you feel decent, one pain or another creeps in or they gang up on you all @ once. That's why, believe it or not, I look forward to my chemo days, hoping to get some relief.
Maybe it's a good thing I hadn't had children or moved further from home. I can't imagine how much harder this would be all around, emotionally, financially, etc.. The director of my ER called me today and asked me what I'd like to do to help the veterans. He's up to something but wouldn't be specific. I replied that for those with cancer if they're able to get home help or even transportation to & from their sessions. A lot of people don't have the support and resources that I do. I'm hoping some good comes of this cholangio carcinoma, awareness and helping others somewhere along the way.