Happy day/Sad day

Thursday September 9th, 2010

Today was a day where I was a little productive. Dad had taken me to see my cats. Oh, either I got weak or they got bigger, but I lifted them up to take pictures and boy were they heavy. They were purring and biting me but I didn't care. Just to see their cute faces and feel their purrs made my day. I went to get warmer clothes like warmer socks, cardigans, etc., and some more things that'll be used @ dad's rather than just sitting @ my house, ie. envelopes, tape. We made a stop @ Walgreens to get some other groceries and pictures that I had made for Preston's family and coworkers.

It's also Gabe's birthday today. He called & was already out with his buddies. Lisa was going to join them and hopefully we'd hook up later. They came by dad's around 8pm. He had wanted to go to a bar in the neighborhood but he was already a bit tired @ this point, Lisa and I agreed, & he ended up falling asleep on the couch in an Irish Yoga position. That's fine with me. Jenny was out and brought home a French Silk pie. We woke him to sing "Happy Birthday" twice with the "Cha-Cha-Cha" version. I gave him his present, he told me that I didn't have to, I told them that I want to stilll celebrate birthdays while I'm here. I tried not crying but tears came to my eyes. Those @ the table distracted me enough to dry my eyes and we were able to dig into the nice, chocolately, sugary treat. Yum.

Friday September 10th, 2010

Dad dropped me off @ the VA a little after 8 am. Kerry came and picked me up, per wheelchair, from the Ogden entrance. Just seeing the familiar faces that I hadn't seen in almost 3 months, I had "Happy tears". He wheeled me back to the ER where I swear it shrunk. Do you ever go back to a place you hadn't been in a while and everything looks smaller? I don't know any of the new residents, but the nurses, attending and clerk were the same. We were actually gathering to car pool for Preston's wake which would take place in St. Charles @ 10 am. I've been told that the mood in the ER seems different since my diagnosis and now with the sudden loss of a great coworker. Preston always lived life to it's fullest, I hope they carry on that tradition. Bringing smiles everyday, helping each other get through the rough times, sharing knowledge, love and good food.

I rode with Paulette and Gloria in Paulette's "Mocha Frappacino" van (that's the color). We had directions and a GPS. It was a pretty trek out there but we made it. How Preston drove in to work that distance is beyond me. I guess if you love your job, you'd do anything for it. It was nice to meet his family, which we were all so familiar with since Preston told us so many stories about them. To hear the stories from his family and loved ones, most I've heard straight from Preston's mouth. Then the ones of how caring he was, which I knew of what I've experienced, but to hear how he touched so many others's lives, it's amazing. He did so much for so many, he was tight with whomever he met. He's a great example of how to live life and how to treat your loved ones. His family was sweet and made a CD of his favorite driving songs for us to have. We ended up listening to it on the way home. They also had a DVD of his life from birth to his navy days and his family and friends along the way. We didn't know he was also in the army and he was a fireman. His wife presented me with something that Preston was working on, he was helping gather funds for me, thank you, my cherished coworkers, that's very sweet of you. You do so much for me already.

The reception was @ a tea room that his wife, Lynda, knew the owners. We travelled to Oswego, got lost in corn fields but we did find the little gravel road that took us to Emerson's pottery store. Us "city folk" were in awe of the beautiful blue sky, white clouds, corn fields, fresh air, gazebos, they way they set up one of the buildings as a chapel for an upcoming wedding, and the doggy, Wiggles, that came to greet everybody. The food was great, ham, chicken sandwiches, salad, their soups, freshly squeezed strawberry lemonade, desserts, etc.. all the food was pretty tasty. Preston would've been proud to see everyone he loved, gathering together, to celebrate his life, listen to good music and eating good food. A man after my own stomach. I wish we would've taken him up on his offers to come out there when we could have.

On the way home, boy was I tired. We got back to dad's around 7:15 pm with traffic. Paulette and Gloria, Thank You for making sure I was taken care of on such a long day. I hadn't taken my Lasix until I got home, I didn't want to be stuck in traffic with it on board and it's a good thing I waited, it finally had me going like a racehorse. I also had waited to take my Decadron when we had a real meal in Oswego. The muffins and juice helped me through the ceremony. You made sure I was comfortable, I'm glad you ignored my, "I'm okays". It's still hard to let people take care of you but God do I appreciate it. Since this cancer journey started, the outpouring of love is so much. How does one thank everyone for the words of encouragement, their actions, ie. pushing me in wheelchairs, making sure my pillow for my back is in the right place, helping me when I'm weak or swollen, your smiles, hugs and kisses, people going out of their way to do something for you, everyday actions like taking me to appts., cooking and helping with the laundry, and my bills, sending pictures, making me laugh, you give me a shoulder to cry on, or a hand to hold? YOU ARE ALL SPECIAL AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!