Oh, bloody heck

Saturday October 2nd, 2010

Woo-wie! I've been dealing with really bad cramping back pain. Not much relief from my Tramadol nor heating pad. Couch to recliner and back again, ugh! With each breath the pain clicked in the left side of my back.

Later in the day we celebrated our sister, Judy, and 2 of our brother's, Coye and David, birthdays. I'll hopefully be recuperating (meaning not the other thought no one wants to think about) from my surgery when their b-days arrive. I broke down and had a slice of pizza and chicken, no skin. Hey, my sodium was still low the last lab I checked. :o) It's hard to balance my diet, meds, the Allopurinol for the high uric acid level and to drink plenty of fluids with it, and being on Lasix so the ascites hopefully won't build up as quickly. I wish I was in a better partying mode. I did make it to the table for food and cake. They were kind and opened their presents in the living room where I was laid up on the recliner. Jenny, Marie and I gave Judy a "Thindy Brady" card, David got the "Robot" card that played Mr. Roboto and Coye got the "Roosevelt Franklin" card from Sesame Street. Sometimes we can't find Dave, he got a camouflage Snuggie. I felt and looked like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, except he might be better looking. :o) Joan had massaged my back earlier with some relief. It was the left side that was still getting me. Before Judy left, she worked a few knots out of my back which really helped. Thank goodness she worked in that chiropractor's office and studied it. Relief probably could've happened a lot sooner if I wasn't so ticklish. I'd take the laughter and tickle for a few seconds of relief from the pain. She made me feel so good, I slept until about 1am. Woke up then and couldn't sleep until 5am. I had the munchies so I had more Greek yogurt, half a donut and a peach throughout the night. Eat while I can and I worked on my rug. I also watched "Super Size Me (?)" that movie where the guy ate McDonald's for a month and it had other interesting fattening facts.

Sunday October 3rd, 2010

Ate a little breakfast and I really have to watch how I say things and not hurt anyone. Going through this cancer journey is ROUGH AND STRESSFUL at times, not just for me, but for others in the family too. I know they're doing the best to help me while trying to work and maintain households and sometimes I say or do things that are uncalled for or come out the wrong way. Using the Cancer Card is NOT an excuse. I'm really sorry for those times. Two words, hemorrhoid treatments. We're the VEGA family and as dad said, "We're going to get through this together, we take care of each other." I know some people want to think everything is rosy, but this is real life. There's so much emotionally and it could be the extremes: worry, hope, fear, happiness, etc., but our love, patience, forgiveness, faith, etc., for each other will carry us through. Caregivers really need some care and relief themselves. No one is Superman or Superwoman. I really appreciate all you do for me, again, sorry if I go off the handle. Counseling?

Blood is thicker than water, except mine, it's running thin and I'm dealing with nosebleeds for the past few days. I'll call my nurse practitioner tomorrow if this persists. Not only that, my hemorrhoid is still bleeding at times even though I'm using the hemorrhoid ointment and I started using the Preparation H suppository my cousin recommended that helped hers. 20 years ago we'd have discussions on who our favorite Duran Duran member was, now we're discussing which hemorrhoid treatment works better. I found out today that another suggestion is one with hydrocortisone in it, thanks Malaika for that advice and other things we discussed. Love you.

Lisa and her parents came to pick me up for a couple of hours. I hadn't seen her aunt in a LOOONG time. She had been sick herself and I wanted to let her know how I wanted to be there for her too but I'm going through my own health issues They had a hard time trying to figure out when, what or how to tell her. I wanted her to know in case anything should happen to me and she wouldn't be struck out of the blue. She had recently celebrated her birthday and she looks better than I do and is getting around better too. Lisa had told her earlier in the day about my cancer. I had gotten her aunt a card and flowers @ the Jewel by their home. Paul had told Lisa to get me moving when she came to get me. My family wondered if I was going to spend the night. I had brought my pillow with the heating pad, one for my bottom, my "bowel bag" in case I should need the baby wipes and other goodies, and finally my purse. It's so good to see her parents, it's been a LOOONG time since I had seen them too. I did get exercise, I pushed the grocery cart around Jewel and I had to climb the stairs in their home. I used to climb them with no problem, now it took a while for me to get to one floor, one step at a time. I had climbed our basement steps earlier in the day too. Lisa had shown me the flowers that she grew in her garden, such a variety and very pretty, I think my dad has competition. I got to see Hairy and Widdo's sister, Coco, and Mr. Nacho. Still as cute as ever. We went upstairs for dinner, and I got to see her aunt, after all these months. After dinner we all hugged and took pictures, I'm inspired by Lisa's family too. If they can go through the multiple surgeries, survive and keep going, I plan on doing the same. We watched "Valentine's Day", it was a pretty good movie, funny, serious, & cute. Lisa and her mom dropped me off later, the traffic heading south was horrendous, but we gave her a dose of Funfetti cake in case traffic was still bad. Thank you for a nice evening. My family had a break from me and got to watch the Bears lose. Wah! I finally slept well for once. I went to bed around 2 am and woke about 6:30 ish. 4 hours of straight sleep is good.

Monday October 4th, 2010

Our Tita Lory is arriving today from the Philippines, we hadn't seen her since earlier this year for her bi-annual visit. Today wasn't a "feel good" day like the day before. I was having the back and abdominal pain, but it didn't stop me from eating breakfast. Not to gross you out, but at least I'm moving my bowels 2-3 times a day and do you realize how good that can make one feel? However, it's still painful and I'm bleeding from my "behinds". I had used the Preparation H suppositories and am taking my pain meds at least twice a day. I did get up and helped dad put away the groceries around lunch time. I felt very weak today, tried to work on my rug but kept dozing on & off. I did eat lunch but my belly felt "full", gas? My heartrate was high but my BP was decent, 112/70's. I know I should take my Lasix which I did. I'm also drinking cranberry juice to hopefully help me pee. I was told to watch my glucose and I had bought some unsweetened tea the day before. I'm able to drink stuff from the fridge but I haven't ventured into the freezer yet. I still get the painful tingling in my fingertips with extremely cold items, including the weather, like yesterday, I had to wear my gloves. Dad had found some flavored Greek yogurt, we tried the blueberry and it is yummy, I might have a date with the strawberry one later. Charles said he brought more goodies by the house, I'll have to find them too. His wife gave me good suggestions on my cracked hands from all the washing I'm doing, and also some ideas that helped her relax during her exacerbations and some weight gaining foods.

I finally got up again from my on & off slumber around 6pm. The heating pad wasn't helping much but I wanted to get ready for our aunt's arrival. I also had made plans for a coworker to come by to help me with work computer things, things I'd like to "straighten out" before surgery. I was putting away my clothes in a drawer when a bloody Niagara Falls started from my right nostril. How about that? I was not even bending or straining and now this. Great, our sister just got home with Chinese food. Now I'm hungry, bloated, & bleeding. It hadn't bled since last night. I know my platelets go down with the chemo but this was a bit much. I had eaten with Kleenex jammed in my right nostril, then I looked up Allopurinol's side effects and paged my nurse practitioner. I hadn't taken today's dose yet. The bleeding finally died down after a huge clot came out and I had put more Kleenex inside and left it for a while. Our aunt arrived just as the bleeding was dying down and it completely stopped by the time my coworker showed up with his wife and daughter, who LOVES dogs, especially scared Chihuahuas. Vera called back and we agreed to hold the Allopurinol, then I'd come in to get a "rainbow" of labs tomorrow morning. More poking but if it'll reveal that I need some more corrections of abnormal labs, I'm all for it. Also, I'm supposed to get tapped on Wed. but if I receive fluids, she wants Dr. Lam contacted in case I might need that tomorrow as well. I was also told not to use anymore suppositories but topical creams for now. I'm still learning "Do's and Don't's" as each new symptom pops up.

I'll be sharing the living room with Auntie, she prays at night and also has jet lag. We're perfect roommates. We do have a bed for her but she says she sleeps better in the recliner. It's good to see her, she's looking better than I too. She brought a lot of goodies from the Philippines, different candies that's a treat because you receive them so rarely. Maybe this insomniac will sleep for a while, I might have another long day tomorrow, or should I say, later today. My eyelids are getting heavy, I'll take advantage of it. Good night.