Friday August 6th, 2010
Today started out scary. Our dad left to go work out about 6:30 am. Our sister called at 8:30 am & stated that there was a car accident near the intersection of his workout area. I called his cell & he did not pick up. I started getting nervous and pulled out that puzzle. Our sister and niece reassured me that he's probably socializing and would be back soon. A few minutes later he came home. He said, "Oh, no, it was a shooting between the police and someone in a cadillac. You should see the bullet holes." He was told that he had just missed it by 10 minutes. Knowing that he was fine, it took a load off my mind.
Later, two of my buddies dropped by for a visit and we ended up eating @ I-HOP. One is known for his voracious appetite and both of them ordered the Hungry-Man's breakfast which consisted of, are you ready for this, a huge breaded steak with gravy, 2 or was it 3 eggs, any style, 3 pancakes and hashbrowns. Needless to say, the bottomless pit stopped mid hash browns and didn't touch the pancakes, he had met his match. Then he revealed that he had already eaten twice that day. It was only noon. When they dropped me off, I gave them big ol' hugs. It's so good to see great friends. Especially since it's harder for me to get out on my own to see them.
I got home, Marie and I worked on the puzzle some more, then her dad came by and added his 3 pieces to the puzzle. I told him how I wanted to put the names of the workers on the back of it when we finished. We finally completed it to find ONE piece missing. Maybe we can color it in. Maybe someone is hiding it so they can feel great to be the one to put in the last piece. It's kind of like being the first person to ruin the peanut butter. Of course we took pictures of it. It took about a week to build. What a challenge.
We ended up cleaning the house because our relatives were coming by. I took a quick nap. Our cousins arrived around dinner time. Our family cooked BBQ. It's amazing to see how their children grew and the characteristics that they have of each of their parents. The last time I saw them, the middle child was still in a stroller, now he'll be in the 4th grade. The baby was so cute, he reminded me of a Cabbage Patch Kid and the eldest, she'll be in 8th grade. It was so nice to see them, in person, after all these years. I've missed them because of work when they had visited before. Oh, it was so good to see them. It's always sad to say "goodbye" but not without our paparazzi session, long hugs and kisses and then more hugs and kisses.
Not too soon after that, another great friend, came by to catch a movie with me. I hadn't been to one since I started chemo, over a month ago. That vertigo still had me wavering so I warned her that I might have to grab onto her for support. We went to Movico (sp?) on River Road. It's a very nice theater and boy was it crowded. The movies we did want to see had already started but we ended up watching "The Kids Are Alright". We were two of the few people in the theater. It was a pretty good movie, not a remake of a remake. It had a good, original story line, with great actresses and my friend also liked the leading man. It was nice to see her again, it had been a couple of weeks since I last saw her. Her life had been a little hectic too but I'm glad we made time for each other. Another big hug & kiss given out today.
So even if the day started out hairy, all in all, it was a good day. Thank You God for making it happen. :o)
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Puzzle addiction
Thursday August 5th, 2010
I dreamt of my T. Kincade puzzle lat night, puzzle pieces just floating past my eyes. I woke, "Okay, okay, I'll work on it." That's the first thing I did after eating breakfat. I took another break at 10 am to take Widdo Poopie, yes my high maintenance dog, back to the vet. His snout swelled up, AGAIN. I had tried a little Benadryl last night to see if it'd help but it didn't. My nephew came with me to the vet . I'm glad, it was hot outside and that little walk was enough to get me huffing and puffing. Thank goodness Widdo is only 5 lbs. We got more meds and after the 2nd dose of the antibiotics it seemed to have helped.
Going back to this puzzle, I had 3 more visitors yesterday and boy did they get hooked on it as well. We started getting excited as huge masses were placed together or you find that one piece that doesn't really look like it belongs there and sure enough it does. When my guests were leaving, it was hard to tear themselves away from it. Mother Hen One, one of the visitors, called saying she had lost her car keys, she even came back to look for them. I think it was a ruse to get back to working on the puzzle. No, she really did misplace them and the keys were found later, thank goodness, under the car. My plans for this puzzle, when I'm done with it is to laminate/glue/whatever it takes to keep it together, and to put the names of all those who helped with it, on the back. I took a break, my back was hurting. I went back to work on it later while watching Jersey Shore with my family. I was so tired by 10pm, that I fell asleep early. This puzzle really brought a lot of people together to work on it. It brought back some fun memories too. A nice bonding project. When our sister-in-law had dropped off her son earlier in the day, she told me that when they had left our house last night that they had stopped of @ KMart to pick up a 700 piece puzzle on the way home.
I'm glad that something so simple as a complicated puzzle can bring out so much happiness, frustration, excitement and memories amongst family and friends. :o)
I dreamt of my T. Kincade puzzle lat night, puzzle pieces just floating past my eyes. I woke, "Okay, okay, I'll work on it." That's the first thing I did after eating breakfat. I took another break at 10 am to take Widdo Poopie, yes my high maintenance dog, back to the vet. His snout swelled up, AGAIN. I had tried a little Benadryl last night to see if it'd help but it didn't. My nephew came with me to the vet . I'm glad, it was hot outside and that little walk was enough to get me huffing and puffing. Thank goodness Widdo is only 5 lbs. We got more meds and after the 2nd dose of the antibiotics it seemed to have helped.
Going back to this puzzle, I had 3 more visitors yesterday and boy did they get hooked on it as well. We started getting excited as huge masses were placed together or you find that one piece that doesn't really look like it belongs there and sure enough it does. When my guests were leaving, it was hard to tear themselves away from it. Mother Hen One, one of the visitors, called saying she had lost her car keys, she even came back to look for them. I think it was a ruse to get back to working on the puzzle. No, she really did misplace them and the keys were found later, thank goodness, under the car. My plans for this puzzle, when I'm done with it is to laminate/glue/whatever it takes to keep it together, and to put the names of all those who helped with it, on the back. I took a break, my back was hurting. I went back to work on it later while watching Jersey Shore with my family. I was so tired by 10pm, that I fell asleep early. This puzzle really brought a lot of people together to work on it. It brought back some fun memories too. A nice bonding project. When our sister-in-law had dropped off her son earlier in the day, she told me that when they had left our house last night that they had stopped of @ KMart to pick up a 700 piece puzzle on the way home.
I'm glad that something so simple as a complicated puzzle can bring out so much happiness, frustration, excitement and memories amongst family and friends. :o)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Ironing board
Wednesday August 4th, 2010 Happy 40th Birthday Ray! :o)
Today started off as an interesting day. Our sister could not retract the ironing board once it was set up. I tried too, no luck. We can't have that around the house especially with little dogs. I suggested that since I never really used my ironing board, instead of buying a new one, to go & get mine. I usually grab my clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer or if they're a little wrinkled, you just pop it in for about 10 more minutes and "Wah-la!" mostly wrinkle free! Lazy bum. I didn't even bother to think of what my ironing board cover was until we got there. It's a picture of a nicely shaped muscular man laying on a sheet with only the sheet specifically placed to cover his privates. It was a house-warming gift, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. :o) Anyway, my poor dad had to carry it down the street back to the car. He carried it mostly covering the picture. No I did not take a picture of him carrying it. My neighbor wanted to see me, so I stopped by briefly.
We got back to his place and we were watching our nephew. I pulled out the 1,000 piece Kincade puzzle and my nephew & niece helped me work on it throughout his stay. Later that evening, his parents came by & helped as well. It's really coming together. My niece mentioned that she has a Jacob, from Twilight, puzzle. All the ladies want to work on that one, I think it's of his face only, not of those famous abs. Boo. My cousin gave me a kitties in Western wear puzzle for my birthday with 550 pieces. That one will keep me more sane, I hope. It's really nice working on something so simple with family. We used to build them more often when we were younger, why did we stop? I had brought some board games over too, Othello and 80's trivia, still in the plastic. I know some friends that used to have game nights up until they married & started having babies. That's how we used to stimulate our minds before the internet and it's on-line games. I started getting carpal tunnel in my right arm because of computer games, you don't get that from playing chess or Monopoly. When we're done with this puzzle, I'd like to glue it so it stays intact, it's a nice memory of working on it with loved ones.
I can't wait for Friday, our cousins will be visiting, one from Indiana and his brother & his family from Florida. It's been a few years since I've seen my Florida cousin and their children. They had a new addition since I last saw them.
I shared a few good laughs regarding my bloatedness with some friends but those stories will not make it to this blog unless they input it. I also had some time to speak with the birthday boy today. Too bad one can't give spankings over the phone. 40 of them. I'll have to ask his wife to kindly deliver them.
I wore one of the house dresses that I picked up yesterday, it fit perfectly and it even came with a pocket. My sister didn't really want me to buy it but after it was washed, it grew on her.
It was great seeing my sister-in-law. She with her multiple sclerosis and I with my cancer. We're both in continuous pain in different parts of our bodies; we both get numbness or our extremities feel heavy, hers due to illness, mine due to chemo affects; we both get foggy in the brain at times, due to our illnesses, meds and treatments; I'm jealous that she's able to drive and I was recommended not to. I get the pleasure of getting short of breath. Our medications make our sugars high. I told her that we will get through the rough patches of our illnesses together and that she's not alone in suffering. I said, "Maybe we're doing our purgatory now and later on in life we can have wheelchair races". Both of us have a lot of things we're going through but we're going to do our best to give it our all through our disease processes. Neither of us asked for this. How funny, we're both nurses. Is it something in the hospital air? Ah, still trying to find a reason. We have a big family that's supporting us and not to forget it. I thank God for them everyday.
Today started off as an interesting day. Our sister could not retract the ironing board once it was set up. I tried too, no luck. We can't have that around the house especially with little dogs. I suggested that since I never really used my ironing board, instead of buying a new one, to go & get mine. I usually grab my clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer or if they're a little wrinkled, you just pop it in for about 10 more minutes and "Wah-la!" mostly wrinkle free! Lazy bum. I didn't even bother to think of what my ironing board cover was until we got there. It's a picture of a nicely shaped muscular man laying on a sheet with only the sheet specifically placed to cover his privates. It was a house-warming gift, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. :o) Anyway, my poor dad had to carry it down the street back to the car. He carried it mostly covering the picture. No I did not take a picture of him carrying it. My neighbor wanted to see me, so I stopped by briefly.
We got back to his place and we were watching our nephew. I pulled out the 1,000 piece Kincade puzzle and my nephew & niece helped me work on it throughout his stay. Later that evening, his parents came by & helped as well. It's really coming together. My niece mentioned that she has a Jacob, from Twilight, puzzle. All the ladies want to work on that one, I think it's of his face only, not of those famous abs. Boo. My cousin gave me a kitties in Western wear puzzle for my birthday with 550 pieces. That one will keep me more sane, I hope. It's really nice working on something so simple with family. We used to build them more often when we were younger, why did we stop? I had brought some board games over too, Othello and 80's trivia, still in the plastic. I know some friends that used to have game nights up until they married & started having babies. That's how we used to stimulate our minds before the internet and it's on-line games. I started getting carpal tunnel in my right arm because of computer games, you don't get that from playing chess or Monopoly. When we're done with this puzzle, I'd like to glue it so it stays intact, it's a nice memory of working on it with loved ones.
I can't wait for Friday, our cousins will be visiting, one from Indiana and his brother & his family from Florida. It's been a few years since I've seen my Florida cousin and their children. They had a new addition since I last saw them.
I shared a few good laughs regarding my bloatedness with some friends but those stories will not make it to this blog unless they input it. I also had some time to speak with the birthday boy today. Too bad one can't give spankings over the phone. 40 of them. I'll have to ask his wife to kindly deliver them.
I wore one of the house dresses that I picked up yesterday, it fit perfectly and it even came with a pocket. My sister didn't really want me to buy it but after it was washed, it grew on her.
It was great seeing my sister-in-law. She with her multiple sclerosis and I with my cancer. We're both in continuous pain in different parts of our bodies; we both get numbness or our extremities feel heavy, hers due to illness, mine due to chemo affects; we both get foggy in the brain at times, due to our illnesses, meds and treatments; I'm jealous that she's able to drive and I was recommended not to. I get the pleasure of getting short of breath. Our medications make our sugars high. I told her that we will get through the rough patches of our illnesses together and that she's not alone in suffering. I said, "Maybe we're doing our purgatory now and later on in life we can have wheelchair races". Both of us have a lot of things we're going through but we're going to do our best to give it our all through our disease processes. Neither of us asked for this. How funny, we're both nurses. Is it something in the hospital air? Ah, still trying to find a reason. We have a big family that's supporting us and not to forget it. I thank God for them everyday.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
New clothes
Tuesday August 3rd, 2010
My sister came and picked me up to get doggy supplies, visit my kitties and to get non-restricting clothes. We stopped @ the Salvation Army and I was able to find around 10 dresses for about $22.00 total. She was able to find a few tops herself. It's a risk to buy them without trying them on but after washing them, they all pretty much fit. Such a variety and we found some with cute designs. I'm kind of grateful that this is all happening during the summer, I'd hate to try & find clothes for our colder months. I'll have to deal with that when the time comes.
Our other sister had a lawn service come by and they really worked on my yard, they were wonderful. My neighbor told me that now the rats from the alley have nowhere to hide. If you live in Chicago, with alleys, there's a big chance that you've seen these critters dance up and down your alley too. I've called 311, so have my neighbors, but it won't do any good if all the neighbors won't participate and not overfill their garbage cans or pick up after themselves. I might have written before how I'd clean the lawns and the street in front of my home and my neighbors, and noticed how our lawns are alcoholics or drink iced tea. Why leave bottles & trash on other people's property? What about respecting your neighbor and the environment? We work hard to maintain our homes, trying to keep the area looking nice.
It was an emotional reunion with my 3 cats, yes I cried. They MEOWED my ears off but once I got them all together on the bed, the purring started. I can fall asleep to that lulling sound, and I did. We did wash the clothes we had purchased and a few of my pillows to take with. Maybe I'll be able to sleep better with some things familiar to me when I'm in a place not my own. Maybe it'll cut down on the chemo crankiness and cabin fever that crept in the other nights when I couldn't sleep well. ROAR! It's a lot going on, maybe we all need a support group to see how other families deal with cancer. My family has been great and as my strength comes back they're my inspiration to get up and move, get that blood circulating. Simple things as taking my dogs out since they reinforced the fence so no little dogs sneaks out again, which means less mess inside to clean up and everyone is happy. The dogs are happy too because they get rewarded with a treat and I get rewarded by getting fresh air and see my dad's beautiful garden.
Looking around my place I confided in my sister a few things that I want to go to certain people if and when my time comes. You look around and you see your life, what made you who you are, everything has meaning otherwise it wouldn't be there. You see the things that people gave you and then I remember, you can't take it with you. I had bought certain items for people already for their birthdays, I've always done that even though their birthday is more than 11 months away. Sometimes I can't find it when the time comes then it resurfaces afterwards. Figures. I told her that I want to package them with their names on it so if I'm not around to give it to them maybe she can and they'll know I'm always thinking of them. I know my Godchildren, some are too young to understand what's going on, but I have certain things for them that I hope they can remember me by.
I'm sorry if I'm sounding gloomy, I'm not all negative. I do have goals still but I just don't want my family to deal with EVERYTHING that come with dying. That alone is a big-assed burden. Please excuse my French. Maybe I should say, "Just in case the inevitable happens". I know I've touched many lives, you kind of want to leave your legacy. I know I'm not a rockstar, or maybe I could be. :o) My friend Ray had asked me something to that affect or is it effect? I told him that I am a simple person that's easily satisfied, especially with food. I've never really been materialistic, shoot I wear a $5.00 ring that I got in Mexico, it's risque and unique, plus we got a free shot of tequila with the purchase. What more could one ask for. I guess that's because when we were young, I lost my mom's ring that her mom gave her when she graduated from nursing school. I told my mom that it was too big for me. I had a squabble with a brother and it flew off my hand. I think my sister found it but it's misplaced somewhere. I never wanted to lose something precious again. I've been blessed with a great family and friends and coworkers who turned out to be both. I've stood up in several friend's and relative's weddings and I had that idea of whoever's wedding I stood up in had to wear that dress that they made me wear if & when I got married, before that movie came out with K. Heigl. I had been there for the births of 2 of my Godchildren. I've been lucky to travel to the German speaking countries, Mexico, Spain, the Philippines and around the U.S. I am grateful that I have experienced passion and love in my life. A beautiful sunset, a touching book, music, again tasty food, a beautiful flower or painting, a good play or movie make me happy. I grew up with nine siblings, at one point with 13 cats and 3 dogs, I've worn hand-me-downs and fought for bathroom time, with no privacy and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've touched many lives with the years I've been a nurse and the patients have touched mine. I've sang and danced, neither very well, but I enjoyed doing it. Just think of all your years so far on this earth, who you've met, through school, work and just socializing and where life has taken you, your travels, what you've learned, what you've accomplished, what you have seen, felt and heard and it's amazing.
My sister came and picked me up to get doggy supplies, visit my kitties and to get non-restricting clothes. We stopped @ the Salvation Army and I was able to find around 10 dresses for about $22.00 total. She was able to find a few tops herself. It's a risk to buy them without trying them on but after washing them, they all pretty much fit. Such a variety and we found some with cute designs. I'm kind of grateful that this is all happening during the summer, I'd hate to try & find clothes for our colder months. I'll have to deal with that when the time comes.
Our other sister had a lawn service come by and they really worked on my yard, they were wonderful. My neighbor told me that now the rats from the alley have nowhere to hide. If you live in Chicago, with alleys, there's a big chance that you've seen these critters dance up and down your alley too. I've called 311, so have my neighbors, but it won't do any good if all the neighbors won't participate and not overfill their garbage cans or pick up after themselves. I might have written before how I'd clean the lawns and the street in front of my home and my neighbors, and noticed how our lawns are alcoholics or drink iced tea. Why leave bottles & trash on other people's property? What about respecting your neighbor and the environment? We work hard to maintain our homes, trying to keep the area looking nice.
It was an emotional reunion with my 3 cats, yes I cried. They MEOWED my ears off but once I got them all together on the bed, the purring started. I can fall asleep to that lulling sound, and I did. We did wash the clothes we had purchased and a few of my pillows to take with. Maybe I'll be able to sleep better with some things familiar to me when I'm in a place not my own. Maybe it'll cut down on the chemo crankiness and cabin fever that crept in the other nights when I couldn't sleep well. ROAR! It's a lot going on, maybe we all need a support group to see how other families deal with cancer. My family has been great and as my strength comes back they're my inspiration to get up and move, get that blood circulating. Simple things as taking my dogs out since they reinforced the fence so no little dogs sneaks out again, which means less mess inside to clean up and everyone is happy. The dogs are happy too because they get rewarded with a treat and I get rewarded by getting fresh air and see my dad's beautiful garden.
Looking around my place I confided in my sister a few things that I want to go to certain people if and when my time comes. You look around and you see your life, what made you who you are, everything has meaning otherwise it wouldn't be there. You see the things that people gave you and then I remember, you can't take it with you. I had bought certain items for people already for their birthdays, I've always done that even though their birthday is more than 11 months away. Sometimes I can't find it when the time comes then it resurfaces afterwards. Figures. I told her that I want to package them with their names on it so if I'm not around to give it to them maybe she can and they'll know I'm always thinking of them. I know my Godchildren, some are too young to understand what's going on, but I have certain things for them that I hope they can remember me by.
I'm sorry if I'm sounding gloomy, I'm not all negative. I do have goals still but I just don't want my family to deal with EVERYTHING that come with dying. That alone is a big-assed burden. Please excuse my French. Maybe I should say, "Just in case the inevitable happens". I know I've touched many lives, you kind of want to leave your legacy. I know I'm not a rockstar, or maybe I could be. :o) My friend Ray had asked me something to that affect or is it effect? I told him that I am a simple person that's easily satisfied, especially with food. I've never really been materialistic, shoot I wear a $5.00 ring that I got in Mexico, it's risque and unique, plus we got a free shot of tequila with the purchase. What more could one ask for. I guess that's because when we were young, I lost my mom's ring that her mom gave her when she graduated from nursing school. I told my mom that it was too big for me. I had a squabble with a brother and it flew off my hand. I think my sister found it but it's misplaced somewhere. I never wanted to lose something precious again. I've been blessed with a great family and friends and coworkers who turned out to be both. I've stood up in several friend's and relative's weddings and I had that idea of whoever's wedding I stood up in had to wear that dress that they made me wear if & when I got married, before that movie came out with K. Heigl. I had been there for the births of 2 of my Godchildren. I've been lucky to travel to the German speaking countries, Mexico, Spain, the Philippines and around the U.S. I am grateful that I have experienced passion and love in my life. A beautiful sunset, a touching book, music, again tasty food, a beautiful flower or painting, a good play or movie make me happy. I grew up with nine siblings, at one point with 13 cats and 3 dogs, I've worn hand-me-downs and fought for bathroom time, with no privacy and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've touched many lives with the years I've been a nurse and the patients have touched mine. I've sang and danced, neither very well, but I enjoyed doing it. Just think of all your years so far on this earth, who you've met, through school, work and just socializing and where life has taken you, your travels, what you've learned, what you've accomplished, what you have seen, felt and heard and it's amazing.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Muu muus
Monday August 2nd, 2010
I had another very restless night and couldn't sleep. Was it: too much good food? Constipation (but things were moving slowly but surely)? Gas? The annoying ringing in my right ear wavering in & out throughout the night? The heat? My little hot dogs (Chi's) taking up the twin bed again? One of my many trips to empty my bladder in the middle of the night? The tumor putting pressure on my insides so I can't get comfortable and breathe easier? Was I hungry? My niece couldn't sleep either, I think we were competing for dark circles under our eyes today. Her excuse might have been the coffee she had with dinner. Mine is most nights.
I had another follow up appt. today for labs and possible chemo, the smaller dose of Gemzar, if the labs were decent. My vitals were better, no fever, but my heartrate was a little fast about 114 bpm at least it wasn't in the 120's. I had just walked across the lobby to the vitals room and I had no sleep so that only added to my woosiness. This is why I quit going to amusement parks, my own head spins for one reason or another and I've also ridden the elevators @ work, sometimes they're not up to par, and had gotten scary rides for free. My weight is still holding @ 144 lbs. My hemoglobin held @ 9.8 but my platelets dropped again. They decided to hold the chemo and recheck the labs again next week. This happened before and they bounced back up. I hope they do. I just have to be careful about potential bleeding risks.
While waiting in the lobby for a room to be seen in, I discussed with my sister, Cathy, how the elastic in my dress I was wearing, felt tight and was pressing on my bloated belly. I have a very loose black "sack" type dress @ home & it feels great with no restrictions but I can't wear it every day. We discussed how our mom wore muu muus and the way I was feeling at that moment in time, I thought "I'm up for that". I had found a Mrs. Roper style dress in my back closet one day. If you can't take it with you, might as well wear it now. Is it still stylish? Doesn't Nicole Richie wear that pattern? Cathy said that I can cut the elastic in some of my dresses, I'll let her do it, my luck the dress will fall apart. No wardrobe malfunctions for me. I'm not above wearing resale clothes, if it doesn't fit after washing it, you only spent 50 cents to a dollar on the item.
We made it home and I was lucky to catch a cat nap after snagging some lunch. Marie was watching our nephew. She finally saw "Student Bodies" last night with her mom. It's a bad but funny movie with horsehead bookends and the "breather". I think it had it's 30th anniversary. There's a part about a mom who had gone out for the night and being upset that the babysitter left the house a mess. As she kept finding the different messy areas, the mom complained, "I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID THIS, AND FOR 75 CENTS AN HOUR?!?". (Nowadays if you need a babysitter, you need to provide them with health benefits.) Needless to say, the babysitter was found dead and the mom, who the deceased had babysat for, gave the grieving mom the money her deceased daughter had earned, saying "This is what I owe her, @ 65 cents an hour..." Our niece had babysat, FOR FREE, like it used to be, the way things should be. She asked, "Why do you have to pay me for watching my cousin?"
Good values are still being instilled in our young. People helping others FOR FREE, OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF THEIR HEARTS WITHOUT ASKING FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN. What happened to that? That's what I've noticed a lot in society, "you owe me, I did this for you, what do I get in return?, I can't take you 'cuz you can't pay me." That's what I love about my dad's neighborhood, it's still a neighborhood. If you need something last minute, a babysitter, eggs, they're there for each other, you can rely on and trust each other. Shovelling the neighbor's snow, cutting their grass, checking on their homes when they're away or check on them when they're sick, helping them carry in the groceries, etc., there's still good out there, not just all that bad stuff that they show on t.v.
I have another date with the Tres Leches cake before trying to sleep tonight. I hope tonight is better than the past few nights. Maybe that's the cause of my woes, ah, it's worth it. :o)
I had another very restless night and couldn't sleep. Was it: too much good food? Constipation (but things were moving slowly but surely)? Gas? The annoying ringing in my right ear wavering in & out throughout the night? The heat? My little hot dogs (Chi's) taking up the twin bed again? One of my many trips to empty my bladder in the middle of the night? The tumor putting pressure on my insides so I can't get comfortable and breathe easier? Was I hungry? My niece couldn't sleep either, I think we were competing for dark circles under our eyes today. Her excuse might have been the coffee she had with dinner. Mine is most nights.
I had another follow up appt. today for labs and possible chemo, the smaller dose of Gemzar, if the labs were decent. My vitals were better, no fever, but my heartrate was a little fast about 114 bpm at least it wasn't in the 120's. I had just walked across the lobby to the vitals room and I had no sleep so that only added to my woosiness. This is why I quit going to amusement parks, my own head spins for one reason or another and I've also ridden the elevators @ work, sometimes they're not up to par, and had gotten scary rides for free. My weight is still holding @ 144 lbs. My hemoglobin held @ 9.8 but my platelets dropped again. They decided to hold the chemo and recheck the labs again next week. This happened before and they bounced back up. I hope they do. I just have to be careful about potential bleeding risks.
While waiting in the lobby for a room to be seen in, I discussed with my sister, Cathy, how the elastic in my dress I was wearing, felt tight and was pressing on my bloated belly. I have a very loose black "sack" type dress @ home & it feels great with no restrictions but I can't wear it every day. We discussed how our mom wore muu muus and the way I was feeling at that moment in time, I thought "I'm up for that". I had found a Mrs. Roper style dress in my back closet one day. If you can't take it with you, might as well wear it now. Is it still stylish? Doesn't Nicole Richie wear that pattern? Cathy said that I can cut the elastic in some of my dresses, I'll let her do it, my luck the dress will fall apart. No wardrobe malfunctions for me. I'm not above wearing resale clothes, if it doesn't fit after washing it, you only spent 50 cents to a dollar on the item.
We made it home and I was lucky to catch a cat nap after snagging some lunch. Marie was watching our nephew. She finally saw "Student Bodies" last night with her mom. It's a bad but funny movie with horsehead bookends and the "breather". I think it had it's 30th anniversary. There's a part about a mom who had gone out for the night and being upset that the babysitter left the house a mess. As she kept finding the different messy areas, the mom complained, "I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE DID THIS, AND FOR 75 CENTS AN HOUR?!?". (Nowadays if you need a babysitter, you need to provide them with health benefits.) Needless to say, the babysitter was found dead and the mom, who the deceased had babysat for, gave the grieving mom the money her deceased daughter had earned, saying "This is what I owe her, @ 65 cents an hour..." Our niece had babysat, FOR FREE, like it used to be, the way things should be. She asked, "Why do you have to pay me for watching my cousin?"
Good values are still being instilled in our young. People helping others FOR FREE, OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF THEIR HEARTS WITHOUT ASKING FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN. What happened to that? That's what I've noticed a lot in society, "you owe me, I did this for you, what do I get in return?, I can't take you 'cuz you can't pay me." That's what I love about my dad's neighborhood, it's still a neighborhood. If you need something last minute, a babysitter, eggs, they're there for each other, you can rely on and trust each other. Shovelling the neighbor's snow, cutting their grass, checking on their homes when they're away or check on them when they're sick, helping them carry in the groceries, etc., there's still good out there, not just all that bad stuff that they show on t.v.
I have another date with the Tres Leches cake before trying to sleep tonight. I hope tonight is better than the past few nights. Maybe that's the cause of my woes, ah, it's worth it. :o)
Bloated BBQ
Sunday August 1st, 2010
I woke more bloated than a beached whale. Uh, oh, we're having guests later, please let this pass before their visit. One has to watch what they ingest (especially "gassy" foods) otherwise they'll pay the price later. I asked for it with all the good food I had @ my coworker's potluck. I'm sorry I missed mass because of the discomfort I went through the night and had a restless night.
Marie's grandparents came by in the evening, it's their first time seeing me since my diagnosis. They brought ceviche, shrimp cocktail, a fruit basket, flowers (no we did not eat the flowers), etc.. In addition to that, we had ribs, chicken, corn on the cob, potato salad, hot dogs, etc., so you know I have no problem eating. If the pain got bad, I went to the other room until it subsided. Girls don't do that so I don't know what YOU'RE thinking, yeah, right. We're all human. As one coworker told a pt. as we were cleaning his diaper, he let loose and smiled, "God made hurricanes and volcanoes too, it's perfectly natural, so go ahead & let it out."
I had to come back for dessert, my sister made Hawaiian salad, our brother bought Tres Leches cake (and boy was it fresh, you can tell when it's been sitting there a while) and a banana & strawberry pie. Keeping up with the calories. Of course I didn't partake in all that, just enough to get my appetite sated.
Their visit was nice, we shared encouraging words about faith and hope. It doesn't matter what religion you believe in, as in the book, "Crazy, Sexy Cancer", as long as you believe in something, it'll give you strength to carry you through the rough times. Her grandparents had hosted a Mexican Fiesta over the years, we made plans to have another one. I hope it'll be on a good weekend, otherwise double up on the Compazine & throw me in a wheelchair or prop me up on a lawn chair. I just have to make sure beforehand that I don't eat the gassy foods that got me today. If we're outside, I'll just blame it on the birds or "Are they STILL shooting off fireworks?"
Thanks to all who participated in the Cancer Relays for Life over the weekend in Hammond, Ind. and Chicago. You are great people with big hearts. Alicia, your pics really touched my heart, I loved the big illuminated "HOPE" in the night shots. I guess when all seems dark and dreary, look for that light, that "HOPE". I loved the one you made, "My Grandma Helen kicked cancer in the Dupa!" I hope to say that someday too.
I woke more bloated than a beached whale. Uh, oh, we're having guests later, please let this pass before their visit. One has to watch what they ingest (especially "gassy" foods) otherwise they'll pay the price later. I asked for it with all the good food I had @ my coworker's potluck. I'm sorry I missed mass because of the discomfort I went through the night and had a restless night.
Marie's grandparents came by in the evening, it's their first time seeing me since my diagnosis. They brought ceviche, shrimp cocktail, a fruit basket, flowers (no we did not eat the flowers), etc.. In addition to that, we had ribs, chicken, corn on the cob, potato salad, hot dogs, etc., so you know I have no problem eating. If the pain got bad, I went to the other room until it subsided. Girls don't do that so I don't know what YOU'RE thinking, yeah, right. We're all human. As one coworker told a pt. as we were cleaning his diaper, he let loose and smiled, "God made hurricanes and volcanoes too, it's perfectly natural, so go ahead & let it out."
I had to come back for dessert, my sister made Hawaiian salad, our brother bought Tres Leches cake (and boy was it fresh, you can tell when it's been sitting there a while) and a banana & strawberry pie. Keeping up with the calories. Of course I didn't partake in all that, just enough to get my appetite sated.
Their visit was nice, we shared encouraging words about faith and hope. It doesn't matter what religion you believe in, as in the book, "Crazy, Sexy Cancer", as long as you believe in something, it'll give you strength to carry you through the rough times. Her grandparents had hosted a Mexican Fiesta over the years, we made plans to have another one. I hope it'll be on a good weekend, otherwise double up on the Compazine & throw me in a wheelchair or prop me up on a lawn chair. I just have to make sure beforehand that I don't eat the gassy foods that got me today. If we're outside, I'll just blame it on the birds or "Are they STILL shooting off fireworks?"
Thanks to all who participated in the Cancer Relays for Life over the weekend in Hammond, Ind. and Chicago. You are great people with big hearts. Alicia, your pics really touched my heart, I loved the big illuminated "HOPE" in the night shots. I guess when all seems dark and dreary, look for that light, that "HOPE". I loved the one you made, "My Grandma Helen kicked cancer in the Dupa!" I hope to say that someday too.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Tons of love & good food
Saturday July 31st, 2010
Today was the first day I had gone outside since my appt. with Joan. Gabriel came to pick me up. I was still a little off kilter, the sky was gray, the air was cool, and I still had some ringing in my R ear. I don't think I was able to get the water out of it from the shower, it's hard to bend over and the shower hose doesn't help but put more water in. Gabe helped me to the car and we were off. I told him that it's nice to see each other when we're both not so sleepy like the last 2 times we saw each other. We stopped off on the way over to get them a bottle of wine, good spirits. :o)
One of my coworkers, Frances, hosted a potluck, and what a potluck it was, @ her house for VA kinfolk. Some retirees were there & we always compliment @ how good-looking they are. Taking care of grandbabies, travelling, etc., such is the life. I'd like to do that some day, if I could. We had homemade pancit, potato salad, BBQ, rice, Chinese food, pastries, etc., more food than you can shake a stick at. Not only did I eat until I was short of breath, so did others. Bill joked that some coworkers didn't want to invite themselves like others did. I'm sure if they did, they'd be welcome as well.
It was good to see them, we laughed and cried, Kathy told me that they're just not used to seeing me this way. Tom & his family had their little astronaut present me with roses and Tom our PTC (part-time clerk) gave me some chocolates. I wish we were gathering because we're all healthy. We used to take turns hosting VA gatherings in the past but with everyone's schedules it became difficult. We put that aside today. One drove in from Dalton, IL, others came before heading into work or after retreats. The smiles, the stories of how the kids are growing up so fast, they're playing football, going in to nursing school, entering college, driving, etc., the laughter, hearing what's new in people's lives was wonderful. Life will go on and it's precious. Unfortunately the pain and shortness of breath started to worsen. I had to lay down, which helped, thank goodness Frances has a comfy couch. It was hard to say "bye" but we did so paparazzi style, with cameras & cell phones.
Gabe had helped me into the house, where sleep was calling me, he also had things to take care of. We hugged & kissed "goodbye". My family had gone to a summerfest so the couch was all mine. That way the dogs can come & go without me lifting them. I did feel better the moment I was flat, the pain & SOB went away & I was able to catch up on sleep. Dad had come home later with more leftovers from Mariano's, that great grocery store in Arlington Heights. He was singing them more praises. I was able to eat and spent the night working on that puzzle. It's a Thomas Kincade and he has minute pieces. I wish I brought the vampire one, it might be easier to put together. A quiet day, sometimes you need those.
Good luck to all those participating in the cancer walk/run tomorrow, especially, "Mary".
Thanks for all the prayers for our brother and his family, they seem to be working. :o)
Today was the first day I had gone outside since my appt. with Joan. Gabriel came to pick me up. I was still a little off kilter, the sky was gray, the air was cool, and I still had some ringing in my R ear. I don't think I was able to get the water out of it from the shower, it's hard to bend over and the shower hose doesn't help but put more water in. Gabe helped me to the car and we were off. I told him that it's nice to see each other when we're both not so sleepy like the last 2 times we saw each other. We stopped off on the way over to get them a bottle of wine, good spirits. :o)
One of my coworkers, Frances, hosted a potluck, and what a potluck it was, @ her house for VA kinfolk. Some retirees were there & we always compliment @ how good-looking they are. Taking care of grandbabies, travelling, etc., such is the life. I'd like to do that some day, if I could. We had homemade pancit, potato salad, BBQ, rice, Chinese food, pastries, etc., more food than you can shake a stick at. Not only did I eat until I was short of breath, so did others. Bill joked that some coworkers didn't want to invite themselves like others did. I'm sure if they did, they'd be welcome as well.
It was good to see them, we laughed and cried, Kathy told me that they're just not used to seeing me this way. Tom & his family had their little astronaut present me with roses and Tom our PTC (part-time clerk) gave me some chocolates. I wish we were gathering because we're all healthy. We used to take turns hosting VA gatherings in the past but with everyone's schedules it became difficult. We put that aside today. One drove in from Dalton, IL, others came before heading into work or after retreats. The smiles, the stories of how the kids are growing up so fast, they're playing football, going in to nursing school, entering college, driving, etc., the laughter, hearing what's new in people's lives was wonderful. Life will go on and it's precious. Unfortunately the pain and shortness of breath started to worsen. I had to lay down, which helped, thank goodness Frances has a comfy couch. It was hard to say "bye" but we did so paparazzi style, with cameras & cell phones.
Gabe had helped me into the house, where sleep was calling me, he also had things to take care of. We hugged & kissed "goodbye". My family had gone to a summerfest so the couch was all mine. That way the dogs can come & go without me lifting them. I did feel better the moment I was flat, the pain & SOB went away & I was able to catch up on sleep. Dad had come home later with more leftovers from Mariano's, that great grocery store in Arlington Heights. He was singing them more praises. I was able to eat and spent the night working on that puzzle. It's a Thomas Kincade and he has minute pieces. I wish I brought the vampire one, it might be easier to put together. A quiet day, sometimes you need those.
Good luck to all those participating in the cancer walk/run tomorrow, especially, "Mary".
Thanks for all the prayers for our brother and his family, they seem to be working. :o)
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